I say to you, I tell you, a tornado...
I say a tornado, that's a terrible thing.
A terrible thing.
I saw a little town in Idaho.
Pretty and green in the grass, looked like it would live forever.
Saw that same town, the same night, after a tornado blew through that place.
Why, there wasn't a single blade of grass, or even one tired little buttercup.
And everybody gone.
The men ran north and the women ran south.
The dogs ran east and the cats ran west.
Nobody left in that town but a little boy...
calling down the main street.
"Bowser." He was calling for his dog.
"Bowser. Where's my little dog Bowser?"
Hello, tornado. Goodbye, town.
We ain't never had a tornado here.
That's what they said in Idaho.
Said it in the morning, tornado came at night.
What do you call that there pole?
I'm mighty glad you asked me, mister. Mighty glad indeed.
I call it a tornado rod.
You nail it on your roof, let that pinwheel turn in the breeze...
and I warranty and I guarantee...
if this here pretty little town ever gets hit by a tornado...
it'll blow through here like a gentle spring breeze.
And the thinnest little birch tree, it'll bend over dancing...
and spring right back up again on its two little feet.
- That's him, Sheriff. - Like to hold it, little girl?
You see that, folks? Light enough for a little girl to hold on to.
And now, hear me!
I want you to know that this first tornado rod goes absolutely free...
to this pretty little girl, if she'll tell me her name.
My name's Starbuck, honey. What's yours?
Belinda.
From me to you, Belinda. To remember me by.
Now, that's the first one.
The next one ain't gonna cost $100!
No, sirree, it's not gonna cost you $50.
It is gonna cost you one quarter.
Twenty-five cents, one-fourth part of $1. Two bits. Now, who gets it?
I'll take it.
Very well. Pass that down. Let the money go.
The next one's gonna cost you 50 cents.
Hurry up. Act fast. The price is going up.
- Fifty cents, half a dollar. - I'll take it!
- Who is it? - Me.
Right there for the gent, please. Thank you.
The next one's gonna cost $1. $1, $2, $3, $4.
- Hurry up, there won't be no more. - Starbuck.
- Your name Starbuck? - Get him, he's a con man.
There they go.
Hey, he's gone.
Everybody after him! Clear the square!
Don't let him get away. Come on.
So long, Belinda.
Whoa, boy.
Jimmy won the prize.
- Jimmy won the prize. - Hey, Jimmy.
You won it easy, Jimmy.
- Is this here roadster yours? - Sure is.
- How many cylinders? - Five.
- How tall are you? - 6'.
That's pretty tall.
Ain't short.
It's a nice height for a fellow to be.
I wouldn't be nothing else.
I was watching you at the dance.
You dance like you were gonna bust.
Feel like I'm gonna bust.
- You visiting? - The Maguires.
- They're my cousins. - Hey, Jimmy, come on.
Your name's Snookie.
Yours is Jim Curry.
No, I seen you three times last week and four times this week.
- Seven times altogether. - Altogether.
Why didn't you talk?
Didn't have nothing to say.
- You always wear that little red hat? - No law says that I can't.
- Gonna wear it all your life? - Nope.
I'm gonna give it to some handsome fellow. That's when, as, and if.
- Did you say five cylinders? - Yeah.
- You say 6'? - Yeah.
Like to see how she runs?
Yeah.
Jim Curry!
If you're looking for your brother, just seen him go out...
and Snookie Maguire after him.
- Find Jim, Noah? - No, I didn't, Pop.
Phil says he come out with Snookie Maguire.
If Jim comes back, will you tell him we went down to the depot...
- to meet Lizzie's train? - Yeah, I'll tell him.
But seems to me, if Jimmy's found a girlfriend...
he ain't gonna waste no time meeting his sister.
- Let's go, Noah. - No, I'm gonna find that kid.
When Lizzie gets off that train, I sure hope she got what she went for, H.C.
- Like what? - Like a husband, maybe.
No offense, just friendly.
- Where'd you find him? - He was parked with Snookie Maguire.
What of it?
What of it? You could have got yourself in a hatful of trouble.
- Well, what kind of trouble, Noah? - That girl.
I tell you, Pop, her hair is so bleached blond...
- It ain't bleached. - Don't tell me.
She's been in town less than a week...
and Gil Denby says she's bought two pints of peroxide.
Well, what's that? I use peroxide for a cut finger.
Well, if she got cut that often, she'd bleed to death.
- What happened? - I'll tell you what happened.
They were out in the car, so twisted up together...
that I couldn't tell where he left off and Snookie began.
If I hadn't come along, heck knows what would've happened.
Heck knows I might have come home with her little red hat.
With her what?
Nothing.
Do you know what trouble you can get yourself into with a girl like that?
You think you're smart enough to handle it yourself?
I ain't saying I'm smart.
I don't mind you telling me how to do and how to figure things out.
I just wish you wouldn't holler!
There she comes.
Now, remember, Jimmy, when Lizzie gets off the train, no questions.
- Well, how'll we know how she made out? - No questions.
I won't ask no dumb questions, Pop.
I'll just say:
"Lizzie, which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying kind?"
Yeah, that'll fool her.
Pop!
Lizzie!
Hiya, Lizzie.
It's so great to have you back, Lizzie!
How was the trip, Lizzie?
Fine. Everything was fine.
- I brought you a present, Pop. - Pop means at Uncle Ned's.
- How was it at Uncle Ned's? - Fine, Jimmy. Everything was fine.
I brought you one, too.
Don't eat it all in one night. You might get sick.
Here's yours, Noah. The pen is filled with red ink.
Which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying...
Home again. It doesn't seem like a week.
More like a year.
Everything right where it was. Every...
Everything just like home.
- Now, Pop. Can we... - No, not now.
Looks like you made out fine, Pop.
Dishes all washed, no dirty pans on the stove.
You should have seen the place while you was gone.
Filthy. Dishes stacked up in the sink that high every day.
- Ain't that right, boys? - Sure, that's right.
I washed the dishes every night. What are you talking about?
Looks like the trip perked you up real good.
When you left here, you were looking all dragged out by the heat.
What was it like in Sweet River?
- Hotter than hell. - Now, you quit that.
I don't see nothing funny in her talking like a cowhand.
I'm sorry, Noah. That's all the conversation I've heard for a week.
How's Uncle Ned, Lizzie? And Aunt Ivy?
- Yeah. How's all them boys? - Big.
Well, if they take after Aunt Ivy, I'll bet they talked your ear off.
No, they take after Uncle Ned. They just grunt.
Who got to be the best looking of the boys, Lizzie?
I guess Pete.
I never could get those boys straight. Which one is Pete?
- He's the one with the yellow hair. - Yellow hair? Hey, that's nice on a man.
- It's honest. - Pete's honest, all right.
The way you say it, I bet you liked him the best.
Yeah, I'm crazy about Pete.
He asked me to marry him.
- Is that true, Lizzie? - Word of honor.
Well, what'd you tell him?
I told him I would as soon as he graduates from grammar school.
Grammar school?
Well, is he that dumb?
No, Pete's not dumb. He's only 9 years old.
Look, Pop, let's not beat around the bush.
I know why you sent me to Sweet River, because Uncle Ned's got six boys.
Three of them are old enough to get married, and so am I.
I'm sorry you went to all that expense: The railroad ticket and all those new clothes.
Noah, you can write it in the books in red ink.
I'm sorry, the trip didn't work.
- Lizzie, that ain't what we sent you for. - Jimmy, please.
She's right. That's what we sent her for. Nothing come of it.
What I want to know is why did nothing come of it?
- Let it alone, Noah. - No, Pop, an investment's an investment.
If we put money in a heifer and she don't turn out, we got to ask questions.
- That's very well put, Noah. - What happened in Sweet River, Lizzie?
Nothing.
That's the awful thing.
Just nothing at all.
What did you do? Where'd you go?
The first three or four days I was there, I stayed in my room, mostly.
Why'd you do that?
- Because I was embarrassed. - Embarrassed about what?
Noah, use your head. I knew what I was there for...
and that whole family knew it, too.
I couldn't stand the way they were looking me over.
So I'd go downstairs for my meals, and then I'd rush right back to my room.
I packed, unpacked, washed my hair a dozen times...
read the Sears Roebuck Catalog from cover to cover.
Finally, I said to myself, "Lizzie Curry, snap out of this."
It was a Saturday night and they were all going to the rodeo dance.
So I got myself all decked out in my highest heels and my lowest cut dress...
and I walked down to that supper table...
and those boys looked at me as if I was stark naked.
For the longest while, there wasn't a sound except Uncle Ned slopping his soup.
And then suddenly, like a gunshot, I heard Ned Jr. Say:
"Lizzie, how much do you weigh?"
What did you say to that?
I said I weight 119 pounds, my teeth are all my own...
and I stand 17 hands high.
That wasn't very smart of you. He was just trying to open the conversation.
Well, I guess I closed it.
And then about 10 minutes later...
little Pete came hurrying in to the supper table.
He was carrying a geography book, and he said:
"Hey, Pop, where's Madagascar?"
Well, everybody ventured an opinion and they were all dead wrong.
And suddenly I heard myself say:
"It's an island in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Africa...
"right opposite Mozambique."
Can I help it if I was good in geography?
What happened?
Nothing. Not a doggone thing.
And then I heard Ned Jr.'s voice:
"Lizzie, you fixing to be a schoolmarm?"
- Oh, no. - Oh, yes.
Well, from that time on, I knew it was no go...
so I didn't go to the rodeo dance.
I stayed home and made up poems about what was on sale at Sears, Roebuck.
- You and little Pete, huh? - Yeah, me and little Pete.
And you know the funniest thing.
The day I left Sweet River, little Pete was crying...
and he said to me:
"Lizzie, you're the beautifulest girl I ever saw."
And he's right, you are.
Yeah, I'm beautiful to you, and I'm beautiful to Pete.
- But I'm plain to the big brothers. - Because you didn't show yourself right.
- I tried, Pop. I tried. - No, you didn't. You hid behind your books.
You hid behind your eyeglasses that you don't even wear no more.
You're afraid of being beautiful.
I'm afraid to think I am, and I know I'm not.
I'm sorry.
I let you all down. I'm sorry.
You didn't do anything of the kind, Lizzie.
Not a sign of a cloud.
No rain tomorrow.
- I guess I'll go to bed. - Goodnight, Noah.
- Me, too. - Goodnight, Jimmy.
- Well, I think I'll go to bed, too. - Yeah.
- Welcome home, Lizzie. - Thank you, Pop.
Look at them cattle.
Down and out.
That makes 12 steers we lost out here.
- And 62 in the gully. - Yeah.
And nothing we can do about it.
What's that?
Howdy.
- Need any help? - Who are you?
My name's Starbuck. Starbuck's the name.
- What can we do for you? - That's the wrong question, mister.
The question is, what can I do for you?
I don't remember we called for anybody to do anything.
Well, you should have, mister. You sure should have.
What are you going to do about them cattle?
If there's something we could do, you think we wouldn't do it?
Well, maybe you can't.
- You can, I suppose. - Maybe.
What's your game, mister?
Well, I can see you're not ready for help. Not yet. Giddyup.
- Hey, wait a minute. - Later, boy. Maybe I'll see you later.
- Morning, Noah, Pop, Jim. - Good morning, Lizzie.
- Morning, honey. - Morning, Lizzie.
Sure is good to be home again.
Yeah, just what the boys were saying.
- "Sure is good to have Lizzie home again." - Yeah.
So they don't have to eat my cooking.
I didn't say that, Pop. I like the way you cook.
Everything sloshed on nice and greasy.
- How do you want your eggs, Jim? - Any old way.
- How many? - Five or six will do.
He ain't so hungry today.
I dreamed we had a rain, a great big rain.
Did you, Lizzie?
A thunderstorm, rain coming down in sheets.
The lightning flashed and the thunder rolled up and down the canyon...
like a kid with a big drum. And I looked up...
and I laughed and I yelled. It was wonderful.
Drought's drought and a dream's a dream.
But it was a nice dream, Noah. And near as good as rain.
Near ain't rain.
No, I guess it isn't.
Lizzie, me and the boys put our heads together...
and we thought we'd mention something to you.
- Do you want to tell her about it, Noah? - Nope, it's your idea, Pop.
Well, the boys and me...
we figured to ride into Three Point this afternoon.
We're going to the Sheriff's office and we're gonna talk to his deputy.
- File? - Yup. Why?
Pop, that's the craziest idea.
I'm just gonna invite him to supper, Lizzie.
- Well, if you do, I won't be here. - Why? Don't you like him?
Sure, I like him.
I like the way he looks, as if he's got something to say but he won't say it.
I like the way he tucks his thumbs into his belt.
But that doesn't mean I want you to go out and lasso him for me.
I won't do anything of the kind.
We'll start talking about a poker game, maybe...
and then we'll get around to supper.
Before you know it, he'll be sitting at the head of the dining room table.
No, not File. He doesn't even know I'm on Earth.
- He knows, Lizzie. He knows. - No, he doesn't.
Whenever we drive into town, he's got a big hello for you, Noah, and Jim.
But he's got nothing at all for me.
He just barely sneaks his hat off his head.
He makes a point of ignoring me.
When a man makes a point of ignoring you, he ain't ignoring you at all.
- What do you think, Noah? - Don't ask him.
Every time you and Jim have to scratch your back, you turn and ask Noah.
The three of us, we get carried away.
- For once in your life, get carried away. - Pop, don't get mad. Well, Noah?
- It's a matter of pride. - What is pride, anyway?
- Is that what it is, Lizzie? - Pride.
I ran out of that a long time ago.
I just want to be a woman.
You are a woman, without being married.
No, I'm not, Noah. I'm a very good housekeeper.
I mend your socks and I wash Pop's shirts. I'm one of the best cooks in Three Point.
But that's not all there is to being a woman.
- What more do you want? - I want...
I want to make somebody happy.
I want somebody to be glad he found me...
the way I'll be glad I found him.
I want him to be able to tell me who he is...
and to tell me who I am, too.
Because heaven knows, I have no idea who I am.
And I want to be able to do things for him...
all kinds of things, and he never has to say thank you...
because thank you is our whole life together.
I guess it comes down to one thing, to make somebody happy.
And it might be File.
So if you want to ask him, go ahead and ask him.
Okay. Come on, boys.
Let's go, Noah.
- Will you listen to me, File? - Now, look here, Sheriff.
Look, when I was broke, you lent me money.
When I needed a job, you made me your deputy.
When I catch a cold, you bring me a mustard plaster.
Now you want to give me a dog. I don't want a dog.
How do you know you don't want him till you see him?
- I've seen dogs before. - Not this one. He's different.
When you see this little fellow, you'll want to reach right out and hug him to death.
- Think I will, huh? - Yes, you will. He's real loving.
When you're sitting in your bare feet, he'll come over and lick your big toe.
Sounds real homey. I'll do without him.
File, you make me disgusted.
Ain't right for you to be shacking up by yourself...
especially since once you've been married.
You lose your wife, the nights get darn cold.
Got to have something warm up against your backside.
Last night was 104 degrees.
All right, if you don't want the dog...
if you're the kind of fellow that don't like animals...
- I like animals. - You liked animals, you'd have animals.
- I've had them. - I'll bet. What kind?
- When I was a kid, I had a dog. - What kind was it?
Mongrel, just a kid's kind.
- What'd you call him? - Dog.
- I mean, what was his name? - Dog.
- Didn't you have no name for him? - Dog.
- His name was Dog. - Ain't no fitting name for no dog.
Well, he always came when I called him.
You couldn't have liked him very much if you didn't even give him a name.
Sure, liked him a lot. Took good care of him, too.
Lot better than he took of himself.
- Why? What happened to him? - Was always running away.
Dumb little mutt run under a buckboard.
You figure everything is gonna run away or get run over.
I don't know.
I don't want another dog.
- Sleeps on your feet, huh? - Right on my feet.
Right on my big old stinking feet.
See you later, File.
- 6' tall and twice as handsome. - Hey, Snookie.
- Come on, Jimmy. - Howdy do?
Jimmy, come on.
When he says giddyup, you've got to go?
Snookie, don't be mad.
Go on, Jimmy. I ain't mad.
6' tall and twice as handsome.
- Hi, boys. - Hi, File.
- Hi, H.C. - Hiya, File.
Riding over, you boys see any sign of rain?
Not a spit.
What's it like at Sweet River?
How'd we know? We ain't been to Sweet River.
The Sheriff said Lizzie's been to Sweet River.
- Well, yeah. - What's it like?
- Dry. - How'd Lizzie like it in Sweet River?
- Fine. She liked it fine. - Yeah, she liked it fine.
Three barn dances and a rodeo and a summer fair...
- and larking all over the place. - Yeah.
File, how's your poker?
- My what? - Poker.
- I don't care for poker very much, H.C. - You don't?
Don't you like Spit in the Ocean?
Gave up playing cards a long time ago, Jim.
You did, huh?
What about...
Hey, File, what's that hanging down from your shirt?
- That looks like a needle. - Yeah, it sure does.
What's the matter, your shirt tore?
Well, looks like it.
- Fix it yourself, do you? - Sure do.
I wouldn't say that, Jim.
Been fixing my own shirts ever since I was a widower back in Pedleyville.
Lizzie fixes all of my shirts.
- Sure nice to have a sister. - Or something.
Yeah, Lizzie come back from Sweet River by herself?
Sure. She went there by herself, didn't she?
That don't mean anything.
I went over to Leverstown to buy myself a mare.
Went by myself, but I came back with a mare.
Well, Lizzie didn't go to buy nothing. Get it, File? Nothing.
Now, don't get ornery, Jim.
- I just asked a friendly question. - Sure, just a friendly question.
- Don't get ornery. - I always say to Jim:
"The reason you ain't got no real friends is 'cause you're ornery."
- You just don't know how to make friends. - Sure, I do.
- No, you don't.
You ever ask a fellow out to have a drink? No.
You ever say to a fellow, "Come on home and have some supper"?
Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm sorry, File. I didn't mean to get ornery.
- Come on out and have a drink. - Supper.
- Come on home and have some supper. - I guess I'll say no to the supper, boys.
I'd be glad to come out and have a drink with you.
We don't have time for a drink...
but we've been thinking that we'd have you over for supper someday.
- I'd be glad to come one of these days. - How about tonight?
I haven't got time tonight.
Outlaw headed this way, fellow named Tornado Johnson.
I got to stick around.
You don't know he'll come this way, do you?
They say he's Three Point bound.
He might be down at Pedleyville or Peak's Junction.
- He might even be over at our place. - I won't be over to your place.
You said for me to be friendly. I'm trying. But he don't want to be friendly.
I want to be friendly, Jim.
I just don't want to be married.
Who says we're inviting you over for Lizzie? You take that back.
I won't take nothing back, Jim.
Well, take something else.
If I didn't think he had it coming...
- I'd wipe you up good and clean. - He had it coming.
Yeah, I guess we all did.
Come on, turtlehead. Let's go home.
- I'm sorry I hit him. - That's all right.
The only thing, you know, you lost that fight.
- What? - Yeah.
It wouldn't have hurt you to come to supper.
- It might have done you some good. - We weren't talking about supper.
That's right. We were talking about Lizzie.
And she might have done you some good, too.
I mend my own shirts.
Seems to me you need a lot more mending than shirts.
Wait a minute. Don't drop a word like that and just leave it.
All right. What'd you hit him for?
- Threw a punch, I got mad. - Why?
We come here and say we like you enough to have you in our family.
Is that an insult?
- I'm doing all right by myself. - You ain't doing all right by yourself.
A man who won't make friends with a whole town that likes him...
and looks up to him, he ain't doing all right.
- And if he says he is, he's a liar. - All right, take it easy.
I said a liar, and I mean it.
You talk about yourself as being a widower. We all got respect for your feelings.
But you ain't a widower, and everybody in this town knows it.
I am a widower. My wife died six years ago back in Pedleyville.
Your wife didn't die, File. She ran out on you, and you're a divorced man.
But we'll all go on calling you a widower as long as you want us to.
Heck, it don't hurt us none.
But you, a fellow who shuts himself up with that lie...
he needs mending.
You want to throw any more punches?
You told File 7:00, I hope.
We didn't tell him no exact time.
Don't walk heavy or the lemon cake will fold.
Don't let Jimmy mess up the table.
- Lizzie. - Answer the telephone, will you, Noah?
I'm changing my dress.
Hello.
No, this ain't Jim, it's Noah. Who's this?
It's Snookie Maguire.
- Hot dog. - What exactly do you mean, "hot dog"?
- Just hot dog. - What are you gonna say to her?
Well, I don't know what she's gonna say to me.
You watch out.
Hello? Hello, Snookie?
How's my 6' tall and twice as handsome?
I'm fine.
I'm just fine and dandy. How are you?
Fine and dandy?
I'm sure glad you're fine and dandy, too.
- Fine and dandy, my big foot. - What?
You mean it, Snookie?
I sure hope you mean it.
Now, what's all this "you mean it" about?
She says it's a hot night and she's got her car out and her motor's saying:
"Chug, chug, where's little Jimmy?"
Well, you tell her, chug, chug, little Jimmy's gonna sit home...
on his fat little bottom.
Hello, Snookie. I just can't tonight.
Well, I don't know why, exactly. Anyway, I can't talk right now.
Snookie, you still wearing your little red hat?
Hello. Hello, Snookie?
See that?
You go out with her once, she starts chasing you.
I don't see what's wrong with that, Noah.
- You don't? - No.
People want to get together, they ought to get together. Don't matter how, does it?
Now, you ask yourself it don't really matter.
Go on, ask yourself, Jimmy.
Well, maybe it does.
Holy mackerel, I wish I could figure things out.
- Where's Lizzie? - She's upstairs.
Did you tell her?
Well, folks, how do I look?
Beautiful.
- Fine, just fine. - Beautiful.
You know, Pop, I really think I am.
If you don't look too close.
I've decided to have beefsteak instead of kidney pie.
I think men pretend to like mixtures...
but what they really like is a plain slab of beefsteak.
What time do you suppose File will get here?
Ought to know some time we can start eating.
We can start anytime you say.
Anytime?
- File's not coming. - No.
I see.
Not that he didn't want to come. He wanted to a lot.
- He did, huh? - Well, sure.
Pop said, "Come to supper tonight, File."
And when Pop said that...
did you notice how his face kind of lighted up?
- Did you notice that? - Yeah.
- Yes, sir. File was real friendly. - Friendly, huh?
- What happened to your eye? - Kind of swelled up on me.
File hit him.
You mean you fought to get him to come here?
It was only a little fight, Lizzie.
Why didn't you make it a big one, a riot?
Why didn't you all just pile on and slug him?
- You're seeing this all wrong. - I'm seeing it the way it happened.
He said, "She might be a pretty good cook and it might be a tasty supper...
"but she's plain. She's as plain as old shoes."
He didn't say anything like that.
He didn't say nothing about shoes.
I'm sorry, Lizzie. We made a mess out of it.
If you'd have taken my advice, it wouldn't have been a mess.
I don't like being right all the time, but for Pete's sake.
Well, Noah, I'm stumped.
Now, if you were Lizzie's father, what would you do?
Who says we have to do anything?
We've been pushing her around, trying to marry her off. Why?
What if she don't get married? Is that the end of everything?
She's got a home, she's got a family. She's got bed and board...
clothes on her back, plenty to eat, everything she needs.
- She ain't got what'll make her happy. - She ain't gonna get it.
- Because she's going at it all wrong. - How am I? How?
Because you don't talk to a man the way you ought to. You talk too serious.
If there's anything that scares a fellow, it's a serious-talking girl.
That's the way Lizzie is. She can't be anything else.
Yes, she can.
She can to the social clubs on Wednesday nights...
and giggle and flirt as good as any of them.
What do you want her to turn into? Lilly Ann Beasley?
Lilly Ann Beasley gets any man she goes for.
I saw her walk up to Phil Mackey one morning...
and she wiggled her hips like a cocker spaniel and she said:
"Phil Mackey, how many toes have you got?"
And he said, "Well, naturally, I got 10."
And she said, "Well, that's just the right number of toes...
"for a big, strong man to have."
And pretty soon he was cooked.
And he started following her around, and she got him so nervous...
he bust right out with the shingles.
Well, if she wants Phil Mackey, she can have him, shingles and all.
How about that livestock fellow from Chicago?
Can I treat a man the way she treated him?
"Now, your polka dot tie. I just adore men with a polka dot tie.
"Those little round dots go right to my heart."
The poor fellow, the blood rushed out of his face...
and I thought he'd keel over in the horse trough.
I don't want to pick a man out of a horse trough!
I want him to stand on his own two legs...
and I want to stand on mine without having to trick him.
- Isn't that possible with a man? - No, it ain't.
- Yes, it is, Lizzie. - No.
For once in his life, Jim said something sensible.
If it's a man you want, you got to get him the way a man gets got.
If that's the way a man gets got, I don't want any of them.
No, dang bust File and a-rattle snatch all of them.
Don't use that language.
Rattle snatch, toad rump, stink drum, clod fetch every last one of them.
Who opened that door?
Must have been the wind.
Wind? Did you say wind?
There's not a breath of wind anywhere in the world.
- Starbuck. - That's the name. Right the first time.
- Lady of the house, hello. - Hello.
That's a mighty nice dress. It ought to go to a party.
Thank you.
Don't you knock on a door before you come in?
- Who are you, anyway? - We met him on the range this morning.
He come up to us and he said...
What did you say?
I said, "What are you gonna do about them cattle?"
Listen, fellow.
If you know we lost them cattle, you ought to know what killed them.
- Drought. Ever hear of it? - Ever hear of it? That's all I hear.
Wherever I go, there's a drought ahead of me.
But when I leave, behind me, there's rain. Rain!
- I think this man's crazy. - That's what I am, crazy.
I woke up this morning, and I looked at the world and I said to myself:
"The world's gone completely out of its mind.
"And the only thing that'll set it straight is a first-class, A-number one lunatic."
Well, here I am, folks, crazy as a bedbug. Did I introduce myself?
The name is Starbuck, rainmaker.
I read about a rainmaker. I think it was Idaho.
What'd you read, lady?
I can't remember whether they locked him up or ran him out of town.
Might be they strung him up on a sycamore tree.
Might be.
Look, fellow, the idea is we don't believe in rainmakers.
What do you believe in, mister? Dying cattle?
- You really mean you can bring rain? - He talks too fast. He can't bring anything.
I asked him. Can you bring rain?
It's been done, brother. It's been done.
- Where? How? - How? Sodium chloride.
Pitch it up high, right up to the clouds.
Electrify the cold front, neutralize the warm front.
Barometricize the tropopause, magnetize occlusions in the sky.
- In other words, bunk. - Lady, you are right.
And you know why that sounds like bunk? Because it is bunk. Bunk and hokey-pokey.
And I tell you, I'd be ashamed to use any of those methods.
What method do you use?
My method's like my name. It's all mine own.
- Care to hear my deal? - We're not interested.
Not one bit.
- Any charge for listening? - No charge. Free.
Go ahead. What's the deal?
$100 in advance.
And inside of 24 hours, you will have rain.
- You mean it? Real rain? - Rain is rain, brother.
It comes from the sky. It's a wetness known as water. Aqua pura.
Mammals drink it, fish swim in it, little boys wade in it...
and the birds flap their wings and sing like sunrise.
Water, I recommend it.
- Pay him the $100, Noah. - Don't be a chump, Noah.
- Don't worry, I won't. - How would you do it, Starbuck?
Now, don't ask me no questions.
Why? It's a fair question. How will you do it?
What do you care how I do it, sister? As long as it's done.
But I'll tell you how I do it. I'll lift this stick and take a long swipe at the sky.
I'll let down a shower of hailstones as big as cantaloupes.
I'll shout out some good old Nebraska cuss words.
You turn around and there's a lake where your ground used to be.
Or I'll sing a little tune maybe...
and it'll sound so pretty and sound so sad, you'll weep.
And your old man will weep.
And the sky will get all misty-like and shed the prettiest tears you ever did see.
How will I do it, girl?
- I'll just do it. - Where did you ever bring rain before?
What town? What state?
Sister, the last place I brought rain...
is now called Starbuck. They named it after me.
Dry, I tell you. Those people didn't have enough damp to blink their eye.
So I get out my big wheel and my rolling drum...
and my hat with the three feathers in it, and I look at the sky and say:
"Cumulus." I say, "Cumulus-nimbo. Nimbulo-cumulus."
Pretty soon, way up there, there's a teeny little cloud the size of a mare's tail.
Then up there there's another cloud looking like a whitewashed chicken house.
And then I look up again, and all of a sudden...
there's a herd of white buffalo stampeding across the sky!
And then, sister of all good people, down came the rain!
Rain in buckets, rain in barrels, flooding the gullies, filling the lowland.
And the land is as green as the valley of Adam.
And when I rode out of there, I looked behind me...
and I see the prettiest colors in the sky.
Blue, green, purple, gold.
Colors to make you cry.
And me? I'm riding right through that rainbow.
Well, how about it? Is it a deal?
- Well... - Pop, no. He's a liar and a con man.
Yup, that's what he is all right. A liar and a con man.
It hurts me to hear you say that, mister. Well, so long to you.
- So long for a sorry night. - Wait a minute.
- You said I was a con man. - You're a liar and a con man...
but I didn't say I wouldn't take your deal.
- Pop! - I didn't say I would, neither.
Pop, you ain't gonna throw away $100!
How would I write it in the books?
Write it as a gamble, Noah.
I've lost more than that in poker on a Saturday night.
You get an even chance in poker. That's a crazy reason.
I'll give you better reasons, Lizzie girl.
Take my deal because once in your life you've got to take a chance on a con man.
Take my deal, because there's dying cattle that might pick up and live.
Because $100 is only $100...
but rain in a dry season is a sight to behold.
You've got to take my deal because it's gonna be a hot night...
and the world goes crazy on a hot night, and maybe that's what a hot night is for.
Starbuck, you got you a deal.
I tell you, I knew I had a deal the minute I walked in this house.
- How'd you know that? - There's four of you...
and five places set for supper.
And I says to myself, "Bill Starbuck, your name's written right across this chair."
Come on, let's eat.
Anything doing?
Phil Mackey said the Curry boys came by.
Says he saw Jim Curry come out of here wearing a black eye.
Tell Phil Mackey to mind his own business.
- And me to mind mine? - Well...
If you want to take time off and run down to the Curry ranch...
and say you're sorry or something and...
I'm not apologizing to anyone.
Might be a little easier on the phone, huh?
- The number's five-five-ring-three. - I'm not interested in the number.
Hello? Oh, yeah.
This is his deputy.
We've got the description of him, but we need a picture.
No, I haven't seen him. Somebody thought they saw his wagon.
Yeah, well, send us a picture soon as you can, will you?
Okay, thanks. Bye.
Five-five-ring-three.
Never mind, Operator.
$60, $70...
$80, $85.
- I'm against this, Pop. - Keep counting, Noah.
$90, $95, $100. There's your $100.
- Thank you, Noah. - Don't thank me. Thank him.
I'm writing that down in my books, $100 thrown away.
No, don't write that. Write it like this. Say:
"On August 27...
"a man came stomping through our doorway.
"We bid him time of night.
"We fed him a supper fit for a king...
"and we gave him 100 honest notes...
"in the fair government of these United States of America.
"In return for that hospitality, he did us one small favor. He brought rain."
- You got it? Write it. - I don't see no rain yet.
- I still got 23 hours to bring it. - Well, you better get busy.
Yeah, Starbuck, you better knuckle down.
All right. What kind of rain would you like?
- You mean we can choose our kind? - Why, sure, you can choose your kind.
And there's all kinds. There's mizzling and there's drizzle.
But you wouldn't want that. I give that away as a free sample.
There's trickle and there's sprinkle.
That's for little flower gardens of little pink old ladies.
There's rain with hail and rain with thunder.
There's flash flood and storms that roll down the shoulder of a mountain.
But biggest of all, that's deluge. Don't ask me for deluge.
- That takes quite a bit of doing. - What kind do we get for $100?
You choose it, I'll bring it.
He brags so loud, he gives me a pain in the neck.
If you all act like she does, it's gonna make it tough for me to do my job...
because when there's suspicion around, it's a dry season.
I don't doubt it.
Look, folks, making rain, it takes a lot of confidence.
If you have doubts about me, I get doubts about myself.
I see.
If you don't bring rain, you're gonna blame it on us.
We didn't have confidence.
What I mean is, I may need some help.
Well, I'll help you. So will Pop.
How about you, lady? Any confidence?
- No confidence. - We don't need her, Starbuck.
- Now, come on. What's the first step? - All right.
What I'm gonna ask you to do, it ain't gonna make much sense...
but then what's sensible about a flood or a hurricane?
- Nothing. - That's right.
What I want you to do...
you see that little old wagon of mine out there?
On that wagon, I got me a big bass drum.
Somebody is got to beat that drum.
- Beat it? What for? - Don't ask questions.
- And don't get sensible. - That's right, Jimmy.
- Now, who's gonna beat that drum? - Me, I'll beat it.
Jim, you're gonna be my first lieutenant.
You go out there, and every time you get the feeling, you beat that drum three times.
- Low, like thunder. You get it? - Got it.
- When do I start? - Mister, you've started.
Hot dog.
You pay close attention. In that wagon of mine, I got me a bucket of white paint.
It ain't ordinary white paint, it's special.
It's electro-magnetized, oxygenated, de-chromated white.
I want you to go out there and paint a great, big white arrow...
pointing away from the house.
That's so the house don't get struck by lightning.
Well, that sounds reasonable.
Now, it's too bad that you don't have a mule on the place.
- We got a mule. - You have? Well, that's great.
That's just dandy.
Get a length of rope, go out there and tie the hind legs of that mule together.
What? Tie the hind legs of a mule? What the heck for?
Now, please. You got to do like I ask you.
- I ain't gonna do it. - Come on, Noah.
Well, I'll be...
Tie the hind legs of a mule!
Pop, wait. I've been sitting here keeping my mouth shut...
wondering how far you'll go in letting this man make a fool out of you.
He can't make me any more a fool than I make out of myself.
You're making a big fool out of yourself. Where's your common sense?
Common sense?
You mean, go along with this fellow halfway, huh?
Well, I can't do that, Lizzie. I got to take a chance on him.
The whole chance.
Without being afraid of getting hurt or getting cheated...
getting laughed at. As far as he'll take me.
White arrow, did you say?
- A white arrow. - I'll paint it.
Mister, you're gonna get your money's worth if it's the last thing I do.
- Don't get nervous, boy. - I ain't. Not a bit of it.
That's fine. Confidence.
Attaboy, Jim. Beat that drum. Make it rumble.
I bet you feel real proud of yourself.
Kind of proud, sure.
You're not satisfied to steal our money.
You have to make jackasses out of us.
Why'd you send them out of there on those fool errands? Why? What for?
Maybe I sent them out so I could talk to you alone.
- What? - You heard me.
Then why didn't you say it straight out:
"Lizzie, I want to talk to you alone, man to man"?
Man to man, Lizzie?
Excuse me, I made a mistake. You're not a man.
- Lizzie, can I ask you a question? - No.
I'll ask it anyway.
What are you fussing with the buttons on your dress for?
- Fussing? I'm not. - Let them alone.
They're all buttoned up fine, as tight as they'll ever get.
It's a nice dress, too. Brand-new, ain't it?
You expecting somebody?
None of your business.
Woman gets herself all decked out, she must be expecting her beau.
Where is he? It's getting kind of late.
I'm not expecting anybody.
I see. You were, but now you ain't.
Stand you up?
Mr. Starbuck, you've got more gall...
Let go of me.
When I walked into this house, you didn't like me. Why?
- I said, let go. - You didn't like me. Why?
Why'd you go up on your hind legs like a frightened mare?
- I wasn't frightened. - You were.
- Of you? Of what? - I don't know.
Mares get scared by lots of things.
- Fire, lightning, the smell of blood. - I wasn't scared, Mr. Starbuck, I was mad.
You paraded yourself in here, you took over everything.
I don't like to be to taken by a con man.
- Get out of here. - No.
I'm sick and tired of this.
I'm tired of you queering my work, calling me out of my name.
I called you what you are, a big mouth, liar, and a fake.
How do you know I'm a liar? How do you know I'm a fake?
Maybe I can bring rain.
Maybe when I was born, God whispered a special word in my ear.
Maybe he said, "Bill Starbuck, you ain't gonna have much in this world.
"You ain't gonna have no money and no fancy spurs...
"no white horse with a golden saddle.
"But, Bill Starbuck, wherever you go, you'll bring rain."
Maybe that's my one and only blessing.
There's no such blessing in the world.
I seen even better blessings, Lizzie girl.
I got a brother who's a doctor.
You don't have to tell him where you ache or where you pain.
He just walks in and he lays his hand on your heart.
And pretty soon, you're breathing sweet again.
I got another brother who can sing...
and when he's singing, that song is there and never leaves you.
I used to think, "Why I ain't I blessed like Fred or Arnie?
"Why am I just a nothing man with nothing special to my name?"
And then one summer comes the drought.
And Fred can't heal it away, and Arnie can't sing it away.
But me, I go down to the holler...
and I look up, and I say:
"Please, rain.
"Please, please, bring rain!"
And the rain came...
and I knew. I knew I was one of the family.
That's a story.
You don't have to believe it if you don't want to.
I don't believe it!
You're like Noah. You don't believe in nothing.
- That's not true. - Yes, it is.
You're scared to believe in anything.
You put on the fancy dress and the beau don't come.
So you're scared nothing will ever come. You've got no faith.
- I've got as much as anybody. - You don't even know what faith is.
I'm gonna tell you.
It's believing you see white when your eyes tell you black.
- It's knowing with your heart. - And I know you're a fake!
Lizzie, I'm sad about you.
You don't believe in nothing, not even in yourself.
You don't even believe you're a woman.
And if you don't, you're not.
Jimmy, quit that.
Don't you feel foolish beating that drum?
Should I?
Lizzie thinks I'm making a jackass out of you.
Is that what you think?
You said beat the drum and it'd bring rain.
I'm beating it.
Just because I said so?
Because you said so.
What was that?
Sounded like thunder.
No...
too regular.
Why don't you take a run down and see the Curry girl?
I don't want to go down and see her. Just stand there like a stick?
- Don't stand! Sit down! Talk! - I don't know how to talk to her!
Make up conversations, they all jam up in my head.
Flush them out.
- Get going! - All right!
- Mind if I take an hour off? - Take two hours!
- Take all night! - An hour is all I can stand.
Look at you, you'd think you never painted anything in your life.
- I didn't see the bush. - What bush?
I was painting backwards and suddenly there was...
that darn bush and I bumped, and the paint...
slopped all over everything.
What are you limping about?
- Mule. - Kick you?
Bad or good, a mule's kick is a mule's kick!
For Pete's sake! Come in here and quit beating that drum.
- I think he enjoys it. - Sure...
he got the easiest job of all of us.
Holy mackerel, Pop. Your face is all over whitewash.
Jimmy! Quit that!
He said to beat it every time I got the feeling.
But, Jimmy...
if you'll just try to resist the feeling, we'll all appreciate it.
Holy mackerel, Pop. Your face is all over whitewash.
It is?
Why don't you wash up? You look foolish.
You don't look so bright, yourself, toting that drum.
What am I gonna do with it?
For the love of Mike, don't be so dumb.
Don't call me that, Noah.
What are you doing in Lizzie's linen chest?
Starbuck asked if he could spend the night in the tack room and I said yes.
Figured I'd get him something to sleep on.
Sure stressing yourself to make him cozy, aren't you?
Why not?
- I like him. - Funny, me, too.
If he wanted to sell you a bill of goods.
He didn't sell me a bill of goods. He gave me some good advice.
- I'm gonna take it. - What kind of advice, Jimmy?
About Snookie.
What'd he tell you?
I said to him, "What do you think of a girl who wears...
"loud clothes and puts lip rouge on her mouth...
"and always goes around in a little red hat? Is she fast?"
And you know what he said?
He said, "Never judge a heifer by the flick of her tail."
- Sounds like sensible advice. - I think so.
I told you he'd sell you a bill of goods.
I understand that crack, Noah.
You mean he was trying to make me feel smart, and I ain't.
- Shut up. - I won't shut up.
What the devil's got into you?
I just found something out, Noah.
You know, the only time I feel real dumb?
When I'm talking to you. Now, why the heck is that, Noah?
Hello, who?
He's not here.
- Who was that? - Who else would have all that gall?
Snookie.
Come on, that phone call was for me. Why'd you hang up on her?
Save you the trouble.
If she calls me on the phone...
you don't have to tell her I ain't here. I can do that myself.
How can you, yourself, tell her you're not here? Talk sense.
Maybe it don't make sense, but...
- well, you dang well know what I mean. - Listen, Jimmy...
if you want to get yourself in hot water...
all you have to do is lift that phone and call her right back.
That's right, Jimmy. That's all you have to do.
- Stay out of this. - I'm just agreeing with you, Noah.
You can call her right back, Jimmy.
Go on, kid, go on.
- I don't have her telephone number. - Call the operator.
- Starbuck, let me alone. - Lizzie, tell him to make that call.
Starbuck, we'd all thank you not to interfere in our family.
- What's this thing doing here? - For Starbuck.
Jimmy was gonna take them out to the tack room, if it's all right.
Yes, it's all right. Go on, Jimmy.
I don't want to now.
You shouldn't have...
- done that to him, Noah. - Somebody's got to do it.
- I think you liked doing it. - No, I didn't!
For Pete's sake, somebody take this family off my hands.
I don't want to run it.
You don't have to run the family, only the ranch.
- They're both tied up together. - There's a difference, Noah.
You let them live, people pay off better than cattle.
Don't be so proud of the way you let us live, Pop.
Just look at her and don't be so darn proud of yourself!
What does he mean, Lizzie?
I don't know.
Don't pay any attention to him, Pop.
Noah's hinting that I made some big mistake with you, Lizzie.
Did I?
Of course not.
I'm perfect. Everybody knows I'm perfect.
A very nice girl. Good housekeeper, bright mind...
very honest.
So darned honest, it kills me.
"You got to get a man like a man gets got."
That's what Noah said. Now, isn't that stupid?
It's not even good English.
- Don't think about that, Lizzie? - Think about it?
Why, I wouldn't give it another thought.
You know what that Starbuck man said to me?
What, Lizzie?
Why repeat it? A man like that.
You go repeating what people like that have to say...
Can a woman take lessons in being a woman?
You don't have to take lessons. You are one.
Starbuck says I'm not.
If Starbuck don't see the woman in you, he's blind.
Is File blind?
Are they all blind?
I'm sick and tired of me.
I want to get out of me for a while, be somebody else.
Go down to the social club and be Lilly Ann Beasley...
is that what you want to be?
Lilly Ann Beasley knows how to get along.
You better call her on the telephone, ask her to let you join up.
I will. You'll see if I don't.
And I'm gonna get myself a lot of new dresses...
cut way down to here.
And I'll paint my mouth so it looks like I'm always whistling.
Fine, go ahead. Look like a silly little jackass.
Won't be me looking silly, it'll be somebody else.
You've got to hide what you are.
You can't be honest.
You wouldn't know how to be anything else.
Wouldn't I?
You think it's hard. It's easy.
Phil Mackey.
How good-looking you are.
That curly blond hair, the pearly white teeth.
Can I count your teeth? One, two, three, four.
Oh, no, don't tickle...
or little Liz is gonna roll right over and...
- Good evening. - Hello, File.
Come in.
Kind of late.
- Hope I'm not disturbing you. - Oh, no.
That's all right. We were just...
I don't know what we were doing. But come on in.
Hello, Lizzie.
- Hello, File. - No let up on the drought, is there?
Just none at all. Excuse me, Pop.
I got to thinking about that little fuss...
I had with Jim, about his eye...
- and I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry. - You said that this afternoon, File.
- I didn't say it to Jim. - That's right, you didn't.
- He's upstairs. I'll send him right down. - Oh, Jim!
- Jimmy, can you come down... - That's all right, Lizzie.
I was going up anyway.
Would you...
- Do you care for a cup of coffee? - No, thank you. I already had my supper.
- Yes. Yes, of course. - I didn't mean to mention supper.
I just... You know.
- How about some nice cold lemonade? - No, thank you.
I make lemonade with limes.
I guess if you make it with limes, you can't...
- call it lemonade, can you? - You can if you want to.
But it's really limeade, isn't it?
Yeah, that's what it is. Limeade.
- That's what it is, all right. - You call me, Lizzie?
- Hey, File. - Hi, Jim.
My, that's a bad eye. I came around to tell you I'm sorry.
Don't think nothing of it, File. Bygones is bygones.
Glad to hear you talk that way.
File's here, huh?
Yes, sir, he sure is.
Wouldn't you like to sit down or something?
No, thank you.
Guess they both knew I was lying.
Lying? About what?
I didn't come here to apologize to Jim.
What did you come for, File?
To get something off my chest. This afternoon, your father...
Well, there's a wrong impression going around town that I'm a widower...
- but I'm not. - I know that, File.
I know you know it, but I've got to say it.
I'm a divorced man. I've been denying it. Now I admit it.
That's all I want to say.
- That squares me with everybody. - Does it?
Yes, it does. From here on in...
if I want to live alone all by myself, it's nobody's business but my own.
Wait a minute. You're dead wrong.
Wrong? How?
- Well, it's everybody's business. - How do you figure that, Lizzie?
Because you owe something to people.
- I don't owe anything to anybody. - Yes, you do.
- What? - I don't know.
Friendship.
If somebody holds out his hand toward you...
- you've got to reach and take it. - What do you mean, I've got to?
Got to.
There are too many people alone...
and if you're lucky enough for somebody to want you...
for a friend...
it's an obligation.
This isn't something...
the two of us can settle by just talking for a minute.
No, it isn't.
It'll take some time.
Yes.
- You here, File? - I guess I'm here.
I'm just going up to get my feed book.
- What were you saying? - What were you saying?
You were telling me about your divorce.
No, I wasn't. But I will.
- She walked out on me. - She did?
For the schoolteacher. He was from Louisville.
Kentucky?
Was she...
- I guess she was beautiful. - Yes, she was.
That's what was afraid... That's what I thought.
Black hair.
Black hair is pretty, all right.
The schoolteacher, darn it. Ran off with a schoolteacher.
What was he like?
He had weak hands and nearsighted eyes.
He always looked like he was about ready to faint.
She ran off with him. And there I was.
Maybe the teacher needed her and you didn't.
- Sure, I needed her. - Did you tell her so?
- No, I didn't. Why should I? - Why should you? Why didn't you?
I won't ask for anything.
But if you'd asked her, she might have stayed.
I know darn well she might have.
The night she left, she said: "Tell me not to go, tell me don't go."
- And you didn't? - I tried, but I couldn't.
- Pride. - Lf a woman wants to go, let her go.
If you've got to hold her back, it's no good.
- Lf you had to do it again. - I still wouldn't ask her to stay.
Just two words, "don't go," and you wouldn't say them?
It's not the words, it's begging. And I won't beg.
You're a fool!
Whatever am I doing...
getting so serious with you, File?
Because I should have known better...
because whenever I do, I put my foot in it.
Because being serious, that's not my nature.
I'm really a happy-go-lucky girl, just like any other girl.
- Would you like some grapes? - No.
- Thank you. - They're very good.
And so purpley and pretty.
We had some right after supper.
I wish you'd been here to supper.
I made such a nice supper.
I like to cook.
There's only one thing I like better than cooking...
and that's reading a book. Do you read very much?
Only the legal circulars that come from Washington.
Washington, what a great man.
Don't you think that Washington was a great man?
- Father of our country. - Yes.
And when you think of all he went through, all that suffering...
when you think of it, Valley Forge, all those bleeding feet.
I don't think about it much.
No...
of course not.
My, what a nice tie.
I just die for men in black silk bow ties.
- It's silk leather. - No.
I wouldn't have believed it. It looks so real.
- It looks so real. - Real's fake.
And when you smile, you've got the strongest, whitest teeth.
- Now, quit that. - What?
Now, quit it. Stop sashaying around like a dumb little flirt.
- Black silk tie, strong white teeth. - Oh, no.
What do you take me for? What do you take yourself for?
- I was trying to... - Don't be so ridiculous.
Be yourself.
I was only trying to...
- Holy smokes. - What's happened, Lizzie?
- Holy smokes. - Never seen a man run so fast.
- Where's he going? - What'd he do, run out on you?
Were you watching the show?
- Did you think it was lantern slides? - What'd he say?
- What'd you say? - Not one sensible thing.
- I couldn't even speak to him. - But you were talking.
No, I was sashaying around like Lilly Ann Beasley.
- I was making a fool of myself. - Now, don't blame yourself, Lizzie.
- It wasn't your fault. - No, it wasn't her fault.
And it wasn't File's fault. You darn well know whose fault it was.
- You mean it was mine, Noah? - Yes.
She's got to face facts! And you've got to help her face them.
- Stop telling her lies. - I never told her a lie in my life.
You've told her nothing but lies. She's the smartest girl in the world...
she's beautiful, and that's the worst lie of all.
You know she's not beautiful, she's plain!
- You quit that, Noah! - And you go right along with him.
I'm the only one that loves you enough to tell the truth.
- You're plain! - Noah, you quit it.
Go look at yourself in the mirror. You're plain!
Stop that.
- Starbuck, let me go! - Wait outside, Jimmy.
- Let me go. - Get outside!
Sure, I'll get out. I'll get out and never come back!
Next time that kid goes at me, I'll...
Next time, I'll see that he has fighting lessons.
- Clear out of here! - I won't clear out!
And you're gonna quit calling him a dumbbell...
because he's not.
He can take a little hickory stick and see magic in it.
You wouldn't understand. It's not in your books.
- I said, clear out! - And don't you ever call her plain.
Because you don't know what's plain and what's beautiful.
Starbuck, this is family.
- It's not your fight! - Yes, it is.
I've been fighting fellows like you all my life. And I always lose.
But this time, I swear, this time...
I'm sorry I hit Jim. And I'll tell him so.
I ain't sorry for a single word that I said to her.
- That's enough. - No, it ain't enough!
You better think about what I said.
Nobody is gonna come riding up here on a white horse.
Nobody's gonna snatch you up in his arms and marry you.
You're gonna be an old maid.
The sooner you face it...
the sooner you'll stop breaking your heart.
Old maid.
Forget it, Lizzie.
Forget everything he said.
No. He's right, Pop.
I've known it a long time.
But it wasn't so bad until he put a name to it.
Old maid.
Why is it so much worse when you put a name to it?
- You've got to believe me. - I don't believe you, Pop.
You've been lying to me...
and I've been lying to myself.
- Lizzie, honey, please. - Don't, Pop, don't.
I've got to see things the way they are, and the way they will be.
I've got to start thinking of myself...
as I am. Old maid.
Jim will get married...
and one of these days, even Noah will get married.
I'll be the visiting aunt.
I'll bring presents to their children to be sure I'm welcome...
and Noah will say:
"Junior, be kind to your Aunt Lizzie. Her nerves aren't so good."
And Jim's wife will say, "She's been visiting here a whole week.
"When'll she ever go?"
Go where?
Lizzie, you'll always have a home.
- This house will be yours. - House.
Oh, Lizzie, stop it.
My skin's hot all over.
And when I touch it, it's cold. I'm all tied up.
My clothes are tying me up. I can't move in my clothes.
- Lizzie. - Pop, help me!
Tell me what to do. Help me!
- Who is it? - Just me, Lizzie.
Jimmy meant to give you this. Here.
- Well, what is it? - Bed stuff.
Jimmy meant to give it.
- Take it. - Thanks.
- Is that what you came out for? - No.
I came out...
Go on, Lizzie.
I came out...
to thank you for what you said to Noah.
I meant every word of it.
What you said about Jimmy, I know you meant that.
- What I said about you. - I don't believe you.
Then what are you thanking me for?
You scared if you stopped being sore at me, you might like me a little?
Then stay and talk with me. It's lonely out here.
What are you afraid of?
You. I don't trust you.
Why?
- What don't you trust about me? - Everything.
The way you talk, the way you brag, even your name.
- What's wrong with my name? - Sounds fake.
- Sounds like you made it up. - You're darn right. I did make it up.
- There, of course. - Why not?
Do you know what name I was born with? Smith.
Smith, for the love of Mike. Smith.
Now, what kind of a name is that for a fellow like me?
I need a name with the whole sky in it and the power of a man.
Starbuck.
- Now, there's a name and it's mine. - No, it's not.
You were born Smith and that's your name.
You're wrong, Lizzie.
The name you choose for yourself...
is more your own than the name you were born with.
And if I was you, I'd sure choose another name than Lizzie.
- Thank you. I'm very pleased with it. - No, you ain't.
You ain't pleased with anything about yourself.
And you sure ain't pleased with Lizzie.
- Why, it don't stand for anything. - It stands for me.
I'm not Lady Godiva, I'm not the Queen of Sheba...
I'm not Cinderella at the ball.
Would you like to be?
- Starbuck, you're ridiculous. - What's ridiculous about it?
Dream you're somebody. Be somebody.
But Lizzie, that's nobody.
There are so many millions of wonderful women with wonderful names.
Leonora, Desdemona...
Annabella, Pauline, Florinda...
Christina, Cordelia, Diane.
Lizzie.
Goodnight, Starbuck.
Just a minute, Lizzie.
I got the greatest name for you. The greatest name.
Now, you just listen.
- Melisande. - I don't like it.
But that's because you don't know anything about her.
Lady, when I tell you who she was.
- Who? - Why, she was the most beautiful...
she was the beautiful wife of King Hamlet.
- You ever hear of him? - Go on, Starbuck.
He was the fellow who sailed across the ocean...
and brought back the Golden Fleece. And do you know why he did that?
Because Queen Melisande, she begged him for it.
I tell you, that Melisande...
what a queen. That Melisande...
she was so beautiful, and her hair was so long and curly...
why, every time he looked at her...
he just fell right down and died.
And King Hamlet, he'd do anything for her, anything she wanted.
So when she said:
"Hamlet, I've got a terrible hankering for a soft Golden Fleece."
Why, he just naturally sailed right off to find it.
And when he came back...
torn and bleeding...
he took that fleece of gold and he laid it at her pretty white feet.
And she picked up that fur piece, and she wrapped it around...
her pink naked shoulders and she said:
"I've got the Golden Fleece and I'll never be cold no more."
Melisande, what a woman. What a name.
Starbuck, you silly jackass.
You take a lot of stories that I've read in a hundred different places...
and you roll them up into one big, fat ridiculous lie.
- I wasn't lying. I was dreaming. - It's the same thing.
If you think it's the same thing, then I take it back about your name.
Lizzie, that's just right for you.
I'll tell you another name that would suit you. Noah.
Because you and your brother, you've got no dream.
You think all dreams have to be your kind.
Golden Fleece and thunder on the mountain.
But there are other dreams, Starbuck.
Little quiet ones that come to a woman when...
she's shining the silverware and putting moth flakes in the closet.
Like what?
Like a man's voice saying:
"Lizzie, is my blue suit pressed?"
And the same man saying, "Scratch between my shoulder blades."
And kids laughing and teasing and setting up a racket.
And how it feels to say the word "husband."
There are all kinds of dreams, Mr. Starbuck.
Mine are small ones like my name, Lizzie.
But they're real, like my name.
Real.
So if you can have yours, then I'll have mine.
- Lizzie. - Please.
- Stop crying. - I can't.
- I'm sorry, Lizzie. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Let me go.
I hope your dreams come true. I hope they do.
They won't. They never will.
- Believe in yourself and they will. - I got nothing to believe in.
- You're a woman, believe in that. - How can I when nobody else will?
You've got to believe it first.
Lizzie, let me ask you, are you pretty?
No! I'm plain.
There's no such thing as a plain woman. Every real woman is pretty.
They're pretty in a different way, but they're all pretty.
Not me. When I look in my looking glass...
- Don't let Noah be your looking glass. - He's not.
My looking glass is right on the wall.
It's in the wrong place. It's got to be inside you.
- No. - Don't be afraid. Look.
Then one day, the looking glass will be the man who loves you.
It'll be his eyes, maybe.
And you'll look in that mirror, and you'll be more than pretty.
- You'll be beautiful. - It'll never happen. It'll never be.
Make it happen. Lizzie, why don't you think pretty?
- And take down your hair. - No.
- Please. - No.
Nobody sees you. Nobody but me, Lizzie.
Now, close your eyes. Close them.
Now say:
"I'm pretty."
- I can't. - Say it, Lizzie. Say it.
- I'm pretty. - Say it again.
- Pretty. - Say it, mean it.
I'm pretty.
Why did you do that?
Because when you said you were pretty...
it was true.
Lizzie, look at me.
- I can't. - Stop crying and look at me.
Look at my eyes.
What do you see?
I can't...
- believe what I see. - Tell me what you see.
Is it me?
Is it really me?
Thank you, Howard. I'm sorry I woke you up.
If you hear from Jimmy, you call me right away.
No, nothing's wrong. Thanks, Howard.
- Jimmy get home yet? - Nope.
Goofy kid.
After midnight.
Go back to sleep, Noah.
- Don't worry about him. - I ain't worried about him.
- I don't give a darn what happens to him. - Okay, fine.
If you'd have seen my side of this, it wouldn't have happened.
I see your side, Noah. I just ain't on your side.
- Good evening. - Where the devil you been?
Out.
- What's wrong with you? You drunk? - No, big brother, I ain't drunk.
But if I cared to be drunk...
- I'd be google-eyed. - Jimmy, where did you get that stogie?
This ain't no stogie, Pop. It's a Havana panatela.
- 85 cents. And it's a present. - Who the sam hill gave it to you?
I the sam hill gave it to me for being a big boy.
- You didn't say where you've been. - No, and I don't have to.
But I will.
I've been out with my favorite gal, Snookie.
- You crazy, dumb little... - Don't say dumb no more, Noah.
Or I shall take this 85-cent Havana panatela, and I shall squash it...
- right in your mean old face. - What happened, Jimmy?
Can't you see what happened?
He went riding with that Snookie Maguire...
she got him all het up, and she trapped him.
- Big brother, you got it all wrong. - Don't lie to me, Jimmy Curry.
The minute I stop looking after you, you got yourself into trouble.
When I tell you what really happened, you're gonna split your britches.
We went riding.
That's right.
We opened that old roadster up and we went 40 million miles an hour.
And then we stopped that car and we got out...
and we sat down under a great, big tree.
And we could look up through the branches...
and see the sky all full of stars.
And I turned around and I kissed her.
I kissed her once, I kissed her a hundred times.
And while I was doing that, I knew I could carry her anywhere...
right straight to the moon.
And all the time, I kept thinking:
"Noah's gonna come along and he's gonna say, 'Whoa."'
But Noah didn't show up, so I kept right on kissing.
And then something happened.
She was crying and I was crying...
and I thought any minute now we're gonna be right up there on the moon.
And then...
without Noah being there...
all by my smart little self...
I said, "Whoa!"
- Yippee! - Thank you, Pop.
- Your yippee is accepted. - I don't believe a word of it.
Why did she give you the hat?
For the same reason I gave her my elk's tooth.
- We're engaged. - So I was right.
- She did trap you. - Don't listen to him, Jimmy.
- Congratulations. - Thanks, Pop.
Thank you very kindly.
I got to tell Lizzie. Where's Lizzie?
Where the blaze you think she is? She's asleep.
- I'll wake her up. - Wait, Jimmy.
- Lizzie's not up there. - Where is she?
- Yeah, where is she, Pop? - She's out in the tack room.
- You mean with Starbuck? - Yup.
Well, boy, that's great! I got another cigar for Lizzie.
Wait a minute.
You mean you let her walk in on that fellow when he's sleeping?
- You didn't even try to stop her? - No, I didn't.
You called her an old maid.
You took away the last little bit of hope she ever had.
And when you left, she took those bed covers and ran out.
I didn't ask her where she was going, but I'm glad she went.
'Cause if she lost her hope in here, maybe she'll find it out there.
Yeah, I think it's great them being out there together.
They might get real serious about each other...
and before you know it, I got me a new brother.
And boy, I'd swap him for you any day.
You won't have to swap him 'cause he ain't the marrying kind.
- Not that faker. - I bet he is the marrying kind.
- I bet he is. - All right, suppose he is.
- What do you think a rainmaker makes? - Rain.
What's that?
- Hi, H.C. - Hiya, File.
- Hey, File. - Hi, Jim, Noah.
Kind of late to be visiting, ain't it, File?
Ain't exactly visiting.
- How's Lizzie? - You come calling on Lizzie?
- No. - Then what can I do for you?
We've been getting a lot of calls from Peak's Junction, all along the state line.
Seems they're looking for a fellow.
He's kind of a con man, name of Tornado Johnson.
- She asleep? - Who, Lizzie?
Yeah, I guess she is.
- You get any wind of him? - Who?
- Tornado Johnson. - No.
Come here, I'll show you.
Tornado Johnson...
alias Bill Harley, alias Bill Smith. He's wanted in the State of Kansas.
Drummed up a lot of excitement about...
what he called a spectacular eclipse of the sun.
Peddled about a thousand pairs of smoked eyeglasses to see it with.
No eclipse.
About a year ago, he sold 600 wooden poles...
said they were good against tornadoes.
The town he sold them to...
town got hit by every kind of a blow you could imagine.
Hailstorm, rainstorm, windstorm, a hurricane.
Moved the tornado poles right of the roof. Blew the town off the map.
- Did it ever get hit by a tornado? - No, it didn't.
That's all he guaranteed. That it wouldn't get hit by a tornado...
- and it didn't. - Yeah.
Don't sound to me like he done anything criminal, File.
- Does sound like a con man, don't it? - Maybe, if you say so.
But I'm sorry, I can't help you.
Whose drum is that there?
Mine.
I'm figuring to be a drummer.
- Who painted the arrow. - I did.
- Any particular reason? - No, just like to paint arrows.
Whose wagon's there?
I'll have a look at that wagon, H.C.
Noah, where you going?
- Noah, what are you doing? - Why'd you do that?
Why didn't you tell him, "He's in the tack room with my daughter?"
- Because he's with my daughter. - All right.
I didn't tell on you or lie and I stood by you, but not anymore.
I'm going out to the tack room and bring her in.
- And I'm gonna bring him in, too! - No, wait!
Put that down.
You want Lizzie out there with him?
He's a swindler and a crook, and I don't know what else.
I'll tell you what else, Noah. He's a man.
Pop's right. Getting married is getting married.
You always say the smart thing at a dumb time.
I'm all for her getting married. I don't care who the fellow is.
- Is that the way you think? - You know it's not.
- Then I'm going. - Stay here!
But it ain't right, Pop! It ain't right!
Noah, you're so full of what's right, you can't see what's good.
It's good for a girl to get married, sure.
But maybe you were right when you said she won't ever have that.
She's got to have something.
Lizzie has got to have something.
Even if it's only one minute...
with a man talking quiet and his hand touching her face.
And if you go out there and put one little dark shadow...
over the brightest time of Lizzie's life...
I swear, I'll come out after you with a whip!
Now, you give me that gun.
Did nobody ever kiss you before I did?
Yes, once. I was about 13.
There was a boy with freckles and red hair...
and I thought he was the beginning of the world...
but he never paid me any mind.
One day, he was standing around with a lot of other boys...
and suddenly he shot over to me and he kissed me hard...
right on the mouth.
And for a minute, I was so stirred up.
But then he ran back to the other boys...
and I heard him say, "I'll kiss anything on a dare...
"even your old man's pig."
So, I ran back home, and I looked at myself in the mirror...
and from that day on, I knew I was plain.
Are you plain, Lizzie?
- No, I'm beautiful. - You are.
And when I leave, don't you ever forget it.
I'll try to remember everything...
you ever said.
You think I'll ever get what I'm after?
I don't really know what you are after.
I'm after a clap of lightning.
Why is it the things you want are only there for the blinking of an eye?
Why don't nothing stay?
Some things stay forever.
Like what?
You fall in love with somebody.
Not me. I don't expect it'll be me...
just somebody.
And you get married and have kids.
And if you do, you'll live forever.
Sure would like to live forever.
Maybe you don't take the time to know things.
Always on the run. Here, there, nowhere.
Running away. Keeping your own company.
Maybe if you'd keep company with the world...
- I'd learn to love it? - You might.
If you saw it real.
I ain't got the time.
Then you ain't got...
no world except the one you make up in your head.
So you've got to be satisfied with that.
I got something to tell you.
You were right. I'm a liar and a con man and a fake.
I never made rain in my life.
Not a single raindrop, nowhere.
- Not anywhere at all. - I know.
All my life, wanting to make a miracle. Nothing.
- I'm just a great big blowhard. - No.
No, you're all dreams.
And it's no good to live in your dreams.
It's no good to live outside of them.
Somewhere between the two.
Yes.
I'd sure like to live forever.
Lizzie, would you...
Would you like me to stick around for a while?
- Did I hear you right? - Not for good, you understand.
Just for a few days.
- You're not fooling me, are you, Starbuck? - No, I mean it.
Would you stay? Would you?
- A few days, yes. - Oh, my goodness.
I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.
You look up in the sky and you long for a star.
And you know you'll never get it.
Then one night, you look down and there it is, shining in your hands.
I'm going in.
- I'm gonna tell them you're staying. - I'll go with you.
No. I want to tell my father by myself.
- I think I saw a wisp of a cloud. - You're seeing things.
No, just the smallest wisp of a cloud floating across the moon...
- no bigger than a mare's tail. - You're talking like Starbuck.
Yes, I am.
- Where is he? - In the tack room.
Why don't you comb your hair?
I like it this way.
I've got no more pins.
- But I've got something else. - What, Lizzie?
Pop, I've got me a beau.
Have you, honey?
Not an always-beau, but a beau for meanwhile, until he goes.
Pop, the world's turned clear around.
Why don't you tell her, Pop?
Tell me what, Pop?
Tell me what?
You were right about that fellow.
- He's a liar and a con man... - There's nothing bad about him, he's good.
He's good, and he's so alone.
He's so terribly alone.
- Lizzie, come here. - What?
Look.
What's he here for? What's he doing on that wagon?
- Pop. - He's getting evidence, Lizzie.
- He's here to lock him up. - No.
- Stay here, Lizzie. - He has no right to arrest him.
- I'm afraid he has. - We've got to help him.
Now, Lizzie, quit it. There's nothing we can do for him.
- Not for him, for me. - For you, Lizzie?
I don't think he knows who you are.
I think he just dreamed you up in his head.
No.
He sees me as real as you do.
Do you believe that, Lizzie? Do you think he sees you real?
Answer me.
Yes, he does.
All right, then you better help him get away.
No, Lizzie, no. I'm not gonna let you do that.
- Let me go. - Let her go, Noah.
- You're awake. - Hello, File.
- They told me you were asleep. - Did they?
- Excuse me. - Where you going?
- Nowhere. - Wait, what are you rushing off for?
I was just wondering what you were doing on the wagon?
Where you going, Lizzie?
On the wagon.
I don't want this family mixed up in trouble.
- Now, tell me where that fellow is, please. - He left about an hour ago.
- Where'd he go? - Pedleyville.
- How'd he go? The wagon's still here. - He took Jim's horse.
That's it, he took my horse.
What's going on here?
I ask you questions, you tell me a pack of lies.
And for what?
A stranger, a man who don't mean anything to you.
Or does he?
Maybe you better answer that question.
Wait a minute. They said you were asleep...
and you weren't. Why were they lying? Where were you?
It's got nothing to do with you. It's got a lot to do with me. Now, tell me.
Starbuck! Go away!
- Run! - Lizzie, stay here.
Starbuck, run.
What's going on?
Sheriff. You're under arrest.
If you hadn't have been singing, you'd have heard me.
I never regret singing.
All right, get in the car.
- Wait a minute. Let him go. - What?
- Let him get away. - I can't do that, Lizzie.
Here, look at that bulletin.
We don't have to look at that. We've been looking at him.
- It's all I got to go by. - You've got us to go by, File.
We spent the evening with this fellow.
We took a chance with him. You take a chance with us.
Give up, folks.
A sheriff's a sheriff, and he can't see any further than his badge.
Is that true, File?
Let him go. Please.
Ain't heard a word from you, Noah.
Be a lot of people around here who'd think I broke the law, right?
Nobody I know of.
All right, get going. Get out of here.
- Well, I'm a son of a gun. - Go on.
Lizzie, it's lonely as dying out there.
Will you come with me?
- Starbuck. - I'm talking to you, Lizzie.
- Come on. - Lizzie, don't go!
What?
What did you say?
I said, don't go.
- What'll I do? - Hurry up, Lizzie, please.
What am I going to do? Pop, what am I going to do?
Whatever you do, remember you've been asked.
You don't never have to go through life a woman who ain't been asked.
I'm sure asking, Lizzie. Lizzie, listen.
You're beautiful now. But you come with me...
and you'll be so beautiful, you'll light up the world.
- Don't say that. - You'll never be Lizzie no more.
You'll be Melisande.
- Starbuck, you said the wrong thing. - Melisande?
What the devil does that mean? Her name's Lizzie Curry.
It's not good enough. Not for her.
- It's good enough for me. - Come on.
No.
I got to be Lizzie.
Melisande is a name for one night.
But Lizzie can do me my whole life long.
Sorry about the rain, boys. But then, I didn't stay my full time.
So here's your $100.
Another day, maybe, in a dry season.
So long, folks.
Starbuck, wait!
Thank you, File.
Thank you.
You got your hair down.
Yeah, she sure has changed.
Jimmy, for Pete's sake, stop beating that drum.
I ain't beating no drum.
It's lightning.
Lightning!
- It's raining. - Yes, it is.
Rain!
Rain! Yippee!
He said 24 hours!
Hey, it's Starbuck!
Rain, folks! Rain!
For the first time in my life, rain!
- Give me my $100. - Give him his $100, Noah!
- Thanks, Starbuck. - So long, beautiful!
Rain!